View Full Version : OT-Joke of the day

09-07-2001, 04:02 AM
Here's a joke for you poeple who didn't dump your Nortel shares when you should have.

Subject: The real truth
> The moral of the Nortel story
> On July 26, 2000, two friends, Jim and John, each received a
> $1000 Bonus at work. (They both work for Nortel Networks,
> where in the summer of 2000, there was LOTS of money
> around for bonuses). Jim, being an intelligent, financially
> conscientious person, put the whole $1000 into Nortel
> Networks stock. With his $1000, and the transaction cost of
> $35, he was able to purchase 7 shares at $123 each. Having
> watched the Nortel stock climb and climb, he felt very good
> about this investment, happy that he is preparing for the
> future. John, being a more care-free sort, did something
> slightly different with his $1000. John borrowed a friend's
> truck, and proceeded to the Beer Store, where he purchased
> 33 cases of beer. John also felt very good about his
> investment: 33 cases x 24 = is 792 bottles of beer! John, also
> being an intelligent guy, although perhaps not as forward-
> thinking as Jim, calculated that he could drink about 15
> bottles per week, and he wouldn't have to buy beer for a whole
> year.
> Jim, of course, was appalled by John's purchase, and berated
> him constantly about it. As months went by, Jim excitedly
> watched the stock prices, and saw it start to dwindle. "It'll go
> back up", he'd say to Jim. Jim, who has been reaping the
> benefits of his investment on a daily basis, would reply, "Ya, it
> will. Hang in there buddy "burp".
> Months went by, and the value of the stock continued to fall,
> and there was the beginnings of a noticeable dent in the beer
> pile. Midwinter came, Jim's stock had fallen to about half of it's
> original value, and John's beer was about half gone.
> Jim, being sure that the stock had hit rock-bottom, still was
> berating John for his frivolous purchase, telling him "Your beer
> will be gone in six months! Who knows what my stock will be
> worth!!".
> Well, summer has come, and hard times at Nortel continue.
> Bad news: Both John and Jim have been affected by the
> layoffs. Last week, in order to raise some cash to help through
> the rough time, Jim sold his 7 shares, at that day's value of
> $12, and got $84, then after paying the $35 transaction fee, he
> only had $49.
> Jim stopped by John's house later that day (everyone needs
> their friends during rough times), and as luck would have it,
> there were two bottles of John's beer left. John, being a good,
> compassionate friend, offered to share his last two bottles of
> beer with his friend. Jim appreciated the gesture, and enjoyed
> the cold beer on the hot summer's day, but he felt a bit guilty.
> "At least I got fifty bucks back out of it - you have nothing
> now," he said.
> "That's ok.", replied John. "Perhaps you can help me, I need
> to return all these empties.", he added as his other friend with
> the truck pulled in. So, they loaded up the truck, and
> proceeded off to the beer store.
> Upon arrival at the beer store, they unloaded the empties,
> feeling a little grim. John went to the counter, and collected
> his refund for the bottles. "33 cases x 24 bottles, at 10 cents
> per bottle, that comes to $79.20", the friendly Beer Store clerk
> said to John as he handed him the money. Jim was
> speechless. Poor guy. Can you imagine how you would feel if
> you just discovered that over the course of the last year, your
> $1000 stock investment left you with $50, and taking same
> $1000, buying beer, and drinking it, would leave you with $80.
> I'll leave it up to the reader to come up with they're own "moral
> to the story".
> Have a nice day, and better luck with your own investing.